5 Word Story

Story so far:

Grandfather used to tell me that they are indeed very skimpy outfits, the things that explode if you connect them with calcium. It was worn by some random chav known as Eric. Eric once went out and was never seen again by the police. They tried to give him a cookie of doom, but alas he had already stolen it. Meanwhile he killed the Joker and batman got a boner. Eric decided to introduce a new character into his animated series.

But that's when it all went terribly wrong. The new character was broken and went totally bananas. Afterwards, she had a birthday party held in the British Royal Palace. Queen were there, and played an encore, even though Freddie Mercury attacked them with a chainsaw. That's when it all went right again. Queen got slaughtered by a tugboat named Roy. Meanwhile, James Bond assassinated Mao and had a turkey sandwich which exploded for no reason.

Mao got resurrected and avenged Queen by stealing Roy's precious gonads. He locked them inside his glove compartment of everlasting scent of almonds. Then he planned an attack on Russia which was completely unnecessary because Russia couldn't even invade Finland because they had sold their waffles, pancakes and small marbles to those damn Happy Mondays. It's just another manic Monday, smurf zombies attack your lawn, and someone chucks a gnome right at the back of Mao's hot girlfriend, Vesper Lynd.

Mao wasn't very pleased, and nobody cared, Vesper Lynd is hot after she is fried by James Bond for stealing his huge, black latex dildo suit. Anyway, the smurfs didn't like the scent of napalm, but loved looking at it burning. Meanwhile, the public toilets exploded at the New York Stock Market big wig nitwit convention. It was all Eric's fault because he forgot to defuse the paint bomb left behind at the Kwik-E-Mart.

He also attached the Kwik-E-Mart to a Metroid, which sucked all the money out of Wall Street. This is when it all exploded because the Metroid got too fat. Dark Samus is responsible for what happened because she attacked Obama when he was around for waffles because Eric told her to get lost. Moses wanted to visit the local swimming pool, but he got banned for posting in "You're banned!" on the White House Forum.

Satan then swam to the other side of the Atlantic Ocean in a bold attempt to swim around the world, but he spotted a plothole in the story and made AFK post nonsense. Then Colonel Gaddafi appeared and duelled Gandalf, because they were arguing over who has to take the hobbits to Isengard. This all ended dramatically when Calvin and Hobbes got abducted by the Prime Minster Jimbob instead of the hobbits, who stole the cookie of doom by going back in time and killing Eric and then getting the Master of Doom to sign their homework.

When Eric got killed though, an octopus had him for lunch thus creating a parallel dimension. Then gladiators Atlas and Predator moved to Congo to start a dairy farm in the depths of the guano caverns. Moneybags escaped from the Monopoly to join them in their plans to eat the mysterious plant grown by Poison Ivy.

The British arrived and started drinking some nice tea while the plant was preparing to roar "All your base Are under attack by me!" at the green trolls of the East coast. Superman jumped , and denounced his faith while hopping on really hot lava rocks. Mary Poppins came by and got Fwooshed by Richard, but she blocked it with her little blue piano.

Unfortunately, she forgot it was made of ivory and a chocolate umbrella could not save her. Somewhere else entirely, a small yellow


amphibious cow was eating a

delicious edible tuber called Yallow.

The cow didn't know it

knew about astrophysics, but nonetheless

(I take it you didn't see the "it" at the end? oh well...)

the cow was mortified by

The Norse Mythology's Ragnarok.

Said the zealous merchant at

the Starcraft convention, before Zerglings

(somewhat fixed my mistake, btw. And AFK, the sentences have to be grammatically correct for this game to work -_-)

rushed over to the T-shirt

hanging next to Godzilla. The

Autonomous Destruction Dealer Mark Five

attacked the Overmind, but didn't

him being invulnerable to everything

they would hire Zeratul to

massage the overmind with it,

so that the car thief

could steal it's Ferrari. The

Stig would race him and

the winner would marry the